"Yancy Becket? I never would’ve seen that coming-"
"-but hey! That’s great! Tell him I said congratulations, yeah?”
”Sure will. You’ll see him around, m’sure. Lucky bastard gets to sleep and I have to go train.”
Mace scoops up the bong and goes ahead and packs in a bowl while they’re inside, pocketing a lighter before pushing the sliding door open. He glances around at Chuck, squints. “All over your chin. ‘S fine, no one’s gonna see. Or you can use the hose.” He shrugs passes him the bong, jumps up and pulls himself onto the roof from the porch before hanging over and holding his hand out for the bong.
He wipes at his chin, cursing under his breath. Man— gross as it is, that rabbit was worth it. He considers the hose— but that’s for moontimes when the weather is too hot. Not for washing his face. He passes up the bong and heaves himself up onto the roof after Mace. “God, I’m getting fat. Don’t fucking agree with me.”
"Ty milyy. You still drive me insane. Now give me your essay so I can proofread it."
"Doesn’t hurt that I’m cute, huh? Here. I think it’s fine. Carter is giving me an extension on the physics homework so I’m good with that."
[ txt charlie horse ] : …
[ txt charlie horse ] : chuck, i’m not some sixteen year old girl, alright? fuck.
twelve minutes later.
[ txt james w. kirk ] : fine.
[ txt james w. kirk ] : you’re not.
[ txt james w. kirk ] : sorry.
when your muses are horny for absolutely no reason at all
It takes effort to swallow his irritability and to keep his words polite. He takes his job seriously; not even coke cravings can fuck that up. So he clears his throat, forcing himself to relax as he talks to Chuck. He’s got this. Won’t have to wait forever.
"No— Other way around. I’m your lawyer, remember? I’m here to protect you from the management of the dudes you’re fucking and choking. Or from them specifically. Jack is covering his ass and all of his boys’ asses. He doesn’t suspect you or anything, chill out.”
Of course the lawyer that Jack got him has some sort of serious drug problems. Where does Jack find these people? Chuck’s young but he wasn’t born yesterday. At least this guy knows what he’s talking about. Chuck’s still not sure about the ‘acupuncturist’ Jack sent him to a few weeks ago. Seemed like a run of the mill perv to him.
"Oh. Oh.” He scratches his neck idly, more for something to do with his hands than anything. “So I got you and she’ll all be apples. … How d’you know Jack then, mate?”
“Only if we can smoke it on the roof. It’s nice out.” He’s already moving from the kitchen to the living room to grab the bong sitting on the coffee table.
”Aw, dude, lemme put pants on!”
Thank God he had decided to shift in the middle of folding the laundry. He grabs a pair of sweats off the pile and hops as he tries to keep up with Mace. “——Is there blood on my face?”
[ txt charlie horse ] : YOU WERE TEXT YELLING AT ME FOR GETTING HIT ON BY A CHICK BASICALLY.
[ txt charlie horse ] : uh huh.
[ txt james w. kirk ] : shut up.
[ txt james w. kirk ] : … also shut up.
[ txt james w. kirk ] : look, not all guys are like me and not everyone is gonna be. idk. nice. in more ways than one. i’m just looking out for you. kinda.
[ txt james w. kirk ] : do not fucking tell anyone i have actual human emotions or i will eat you
"Come here." She leans forward instead, kisses his cheek. "I love you to pieces, milochka, but sometimes you drive me insane."
"I’m a complicated, sensitive boy. Thought you knew that when you signed up to be my fake girlfriend."